Two Passengers Together
by Shrike176
Summary: Lumen and Dexter are finally together. But relationships are hard work, especially when balancing children, work, emotional baggage... and serial killing. A sequel to my previous story Life, Happiness and the Dark Passenger. Dexter/Lumen
1. Chapter 1: A Most Unusual Date

Miami, the city with everything. Pork sandwiches, an incredibly overburdened police force, killers walking around free (at least until I get around to them).

And now, one thing I know I can't get anywhere else. I glance over at Lumen, she looks so beautiful in her red dress. I suppose the one good thing about tonight's outing is that it's given her a reason to dress like this. Now if only I could get a car that could drive for me while I stare at her.

Unfortunately, we'll be lucky to be on time as it is, and this is just another occasion where being late will cause problems for both of us, making a difficult evening even harder. After so many amazing date nights, I guess it was inevitable that we would have to do something less fun. I always hear guys complaining about the boring stuff they have to do to keep their girlfriends happy.

Fortunately, I'm actually with someone whose idea of fun is the same as mine.

My sister, however, is another matter.

XXXXX

We arrive at the restaurant a few minutes late, Quinn and Deb are already seated. Deb shoots me an angry look as we arrive.

"Traffic", I say simply.

Lumen and I take our seats, focusing on the menus in front of us.

I knew it was only a matter of time, Deb's kept a safe distance from Lumen so far, I get the feeling she was worried she was right all along and Lumen would leave me again. That she would have to struggle not to say 'I told you so' when it happened.

But after almost three months together, and the way the kids have finally started to warm up to her; I guess Deb just had to take a closer look.

"So how have you guys been? I know things have been busy lately, but what have you been up to all summer?" She asks in her best fake casual voice.

"Oh, you know, taking care of the kids, work, couple stuff." I say, glancing at Lumen with a smile. I never knew how much fun it was to have someone share private jokes like this.

To be fair, we have been busy with work, and taking care of the kids has been my top priority... but I imagine "couple stuff" doesn't usually mean our normal idea of a date.

My mind flashes to last weekend and Jose Zapata, the dentist with a penchant for molesting women under anesthesia. That is, until he screwed up and left enough evidence for one of his victims to go to the cops. Then he graduated to murderer.

Such an easy thing, have Lumen schedule a last minute tooth cleaning at his office on Friday, after everyone else was gone. For a sloppy rapist, Zapata's office was remarkably clean.

"Well, how are the kids doing; any luck on the apartment search?" Deb asks excitedly.

"I've looked at a few places, pretty much anywhere big enough for me and the kids will mean having to sell the house so I can afford it. Astor's not too happy about that, but we definitely don't have enough room in my apartment." I reply, some of Deb's enthusiasm catching on at the thought of Astor and Cody agreeing to stay with me now that summer's over.

"They've gotten a lot closer to Lumen lately," I say with a smile.

"Well, you can't underestimate the appeal of new clothes and game systems," Lumen says with a shy smile.

Deb looks shocked. "Wait, you bribed the kids with clothes and toys?"

"She took the kids shopping Deb, Lumen just wanted to be nice, it's not a bribe," I respond.

"I was just saying it was a good move. I'm not saying it was wrong, I'm saying it was smart" she replies.

Dinner arrives, and the awkwardness is finally broken by having something to eat. Much as I care for Deb, I'm hoping this will inspire her to make this the last double date she organizes. I can't imagine anything more tense and uncomfortable than this.

Until now.

"Excuse me for a minute, I need to use the restroom," Lumen says.

"Yeah, I'll join you; you boys play nice while we're gone." Deb smiles as she get sup to leave.

Sitting alone with Quinn, I have more to say to the victims on my table than I have to say now.

"So... Dex, anything new going on at the lab?" Quinn says.

"Yeah, we just upgraded the equipment last month."I say.

"Oh, was the old stuff... not working anymore?" He asks.

I consider 'accidentally' cutting myself with my knife to make this stop.

"No, but it was getting pretty old, should have upgraded before now, but it's tough with the budget cutbacks." I reply, Quinn and I try just sitting silently.

It's always odd trying to talk to Quinn. He seems to feel some gratitude for my faking the blood work that kept him out of jail, and for not mentioning seeing him steal money from a crime scene. For my part, I have to be a little grateful that he's finally decided to give up searching for a connection between me and Rita's murder.

And honestly, I could forget almost all of that, since he seems to make Deb happy; those two seem to spend most of their time together now, on and off work. But the fact that he actually thinks I would ever intentionally hurt Rita, that his idiot private detective came after Lumen and I... well, he's lucky I live by such a strict code.

Code or no code though, looking at him now I imagine how it would feel to have him on my table, how easy it would be to finally get him out of my life.

My little fantasy is interrupted when Lumen and Deb arrive. We pay the bill after Quinn and I do the customary fight over who actually gets to pay; Lumen and Deb roll their eyes and smile.

XXXX

We drive back to Lumen's place, since I need to get back home, I know I'll just have to drop her off and go.

"You need to try and get over everything Quinn did Dexter," Lumen says in a stern voice.

"What, we just sat there, I didn't do anything."

"I saw the way you were looking at him, I _know_ that look, remember? I know exactly what you do when you get that look in your eyes."

Oh, right. "I try, it's just hard for me... I'll work on it." I really mean that, I want Deb to be happy, she deserves someone.

Lumen rolles her eyes, I know this one, this is the look she gets when she thinks I'm missing something obvious.

"I don't think this is just about what Quinn did, I think you're jealous."

I laugh.

"Jealous of what? Deb's my sister, I want her to be happy, and I _don't_ think of her that way."

This time she laughs.

"I didn't mean you were jealous that way, I mean you're jealous of all the time they spend together. You may not tell her everything, but you like spending time with your sister, and now she spends most of her time with Quinn."

I consider this, Deb was always the one saying we needed to have more brother and sister time. I was so used to her asking for me to talk more, do more things with her; I never thought much about it before.

Most of her relationships lasted a few weeks, and outside the bedroom it never seemed like she was all that interested in actually doing things with most of the guys she dated. I was always the one she wanted more attention from. Lumen has a point.

"Ok, but what am I supposed to do? I do want her to be happy with someone. Even if you're right about everything, it doesn't seem like I can do anything about it."

I stop the car, Lumen gives me a weird look.

"You can realize you have someone else to spend time with, someone else who you can talk to now. Besides, Deb does like spending time with you, maybe this time _you_ can be the one to ask _her_ do do something together. I don't know her that well, but I get the impression she'd like that. For now though, I did some research and I think I've found a more fun way to spend next Saturday night." She takes out a file from under her seat.

I look inside, Victor Quintero, suspected Chilean war criminal; recently released for murdering his boss due to the search warrant being thrown out. I smile at her. "It's a date."

She kisses me on the cheek and gets out. "I'll call you tomorrow, maybe after the kids are in bed we can get started."

"She seems to know you better than you know yourself Dexter," Harry says.

"It's weird, having someone who I can tell things to," I smile.

"I'm happy for you Dex, I'm glad I was wrong about you finding someone."

"Well, it's not like I've told her everything about myself, what if one she learns something she can't deal with?" I frown at that.

"That's what dating is for normal couples, getting to know each other a little at a time. Besides, every relationship you have had has been about making changes so you can fit into their life. Lumen's trying to make changes so she can fit into yours. Or didn't you notice what was in the file she gave you?"

I look at the file again, murderer who got away on a technicality, background indicates history of violence and likelihood to kill again, nothing unusual... except his boss was a man. Looking at Lumen's research I can't see any evidence that Quintero has ever killed a woman. Since she came back into my life, all of my (our?) victims have been men who sexually abused and killed women. Looking back I suppose I thought that was what Lumen wanted, what she would be most comfortable with.

Was this really Lumen trying to fit into my life, is this some kind of test for me?

I start the car, as confusing as this is, I need to get home. But I am sure our next date night will be a lot more interesting than this one.

**I've recently had some free time, and since I enjoyed writing my last story so much, I decided to do a sequel. Reviews are always appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2: Back to Normal

**A/N Standard disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I don't do this for money. I would however appreciate some reviews, either signed or unsigned.**

Sunday afternoon seems to drag on forever. Much as I enjoy spending the day at the beach with my kids, last night left me with too many unanswered questions.

Aside from the obvious confusion over Lumen's choice of playmate, I did some research on her Mr. Quintero when I got home. While he was able to escape a murder conviction, his purchase of a one way plane ticket to Montreal for Thursday evening suggests he doesn't plan to stick around Miami.

Which means Lumen and I will either have to move up our date night, or find someone else.

I look at Astor and Cody playing on the beach, see Harrison sleeping on the blanket beside me; I wish Lumen was here. She said she didn't feel like going out today, she had work to catch up on at the office. Even someone as dense as I am could hear the lie in her voice; even I could sense she didn't feel up to either looking overdressed or showing the scars she carried.

I remember her telling me about her mother's reaction to the scars. While I can't imagine people would scream, I get her reluctance.

Makes me glad all my scars are on the inside.

XXXX

"So, I was thinking you check out Quintero's daily routine and I'll get the supplies this time. As long as Sonja can take care of the kids, this should be pretty easy." Lumen says with the same excitement I usually feel when preparing for a kill.

I feel like the Grinch, but it's now or never.

"The thing is, I looked into Quintero's financials. He's leaving the country on Thursday evening." I can barely look at her, hating to disappoint her like this.

"Great."

Ok, that's weird.

"Not following," I frown.

"Well, we know he's leaving town. As long as we can grab him on Thursday, his landlord won't even question where he's gone. Since he doesn't have anyone else to file a missing persons report, he's even easier to disappear. As long as you can grab him, I can still set up the kill room. Did I miss anything?" She asks innocently.

Technically she's right, I've made due with a lot less. Especially, if she does the setup for me.

If only that were the only issue.

"Well, that could work. But, why Quintero? I guess he just doesn't seem like you're, ummm, type?"

I feel like I'm giving her dating advice.

She laughs. Then gets a more serious look in her eyes.

"Dexter, I know Quintero's a little different from what we've done this summer, but I didn't come back so I could change who you are. I came back to be a part of _your_ life. I thought, this would be a good step, finding someone a little different. But if you don't want to, we can just start looking for someone else-"

"No, I want to do this. I just wanted to understand why you did. I was scared you felt like you had to or something, and I didn't want that." I feel a tension I didn't know I had release as I cut Lumen off.

We both smile.

XXXXXX

The next few days go by in a blur. Between work, talking to a realtor about selling my house and stalking Quintero, I barely remember to ask Deb to hang out with me on Friday.

Lumen was right, Deb did like me asking her to do something. And since Lumen's busy on Friday, spending time with Deb should work perfectly, unless something goes wrong on Thursday.

But in that event, it's not like I'll be able to do much of anything anyway.

I consider all of this while hiding in Quintero's apartment waiting for him to return. I already took the liberty of putting most of his possessions in bags. Not that he'll be needing them.

I hear the key entering the lock, wait for him to close the door before injecting him. He barely has time to register the needle before he's out cold.

After that, it's a simple matter of stuffing his body into the enormous suitcase I brought, and packing it into my car, along with the other bags.

I arrive at the kill room to see Lumen's finished setting it up, all the plastic coverings finished, the duct tape on the table.

"Did I do it right?" Lumen asks with a smile.

I lean in and kiss her.

"Perfect."

I lay Quintero out on the table, Lumen starts taping him. Over the summer, we have really gotten our routine down.

Quintero awakens, properly wrapped with a perfect view of the man he killed. "Hey, wha-?"

"Sorry, I usually like to remind people of all their victims, but you war criminals rarely leave evidence of who you killed. So I just made do with the most recent." I smile gesturing to the picture.

"Wha... What are you talking about man? Ain't you heard I was let go? I didn't do nuthin'!" He quickly goes from confusion to anger. Struggling against the tape.

"Is that what you said in Chile after the fighting ended? That all the people you tortured and killed didn't matter because you were never punished for it?" Lumen replies, her voice cracking with anger.

I quickly get my trophy. Then step away.

Lumen knows it's her cue to take the knife.

She quickly grabs the hunting knife on the table and shoves it through his sternum. A look of pain briefly graces Quintero's features, then peace.

Much as I enjoy the kill, there's something about seeing Lumen put the knife through their hearts, something very satisfying. It's not exactly the same feeling I get from killing, but I can't deny the beauty on Lumen's face, the same look of fulfillment I suppose my face has when I kill. It's stange, I certainly didn't feel like this watching Miguel kill.

Besides, since she made an effort to step outside her comfort zone this time, it's only fair she get to finish it.

She slowly removes the knife, places it back on the table. She looks into my eyes, I see her desire. I know what she wants, and as I much as I want it too, I know we have to dispose of the evidence first.

"I know you said there's no polite way to decide who does the kill, but is there a way to divide the cleanup." She asks me with a smile, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

I look over the scene. "How about I take care of the body, you handle the plastic?"

She seems relieved, she's a little less comfortable with the cutting part.

We get to work.

XXXX

We stand on my boat, staring at the space where we dumped Quintero's body as we speed back to the shore. Looking at my watch I see we made excellent time, we still have a few hours before I need to get home and take over from Sonja.

I look over at Lumen, she looks so beautiful in the light of the full moon. I lean in and kiss her, my first instincts still to go slowly with her.

She responds by putting her arms around me, wrapping her legs around my waist.

My hands reach down to cup her bottom for support as we make our way below deck for some privacy.

While she hasn't dug her nails into my back in a while, I feel still feel the intensity when we're together like this.

Something about the blood.

The moon.

The way we're able to sync together so seamlessly on the hunt.

She starts to slowly moan my name, grabs on tighter as I push her back against the wall, I can't take my eyes off of hers.

Her kisses are like fire, I feel like my entire body is burning. The moaning becomes as scream as we both climax. It hasn't been like this since we had sex against the table in my kill room.

We start to get dressed, I know we're almost at the dock, time to go home. I miss falling asleep with her, but much as the kids have warmed up to her, I'm not sure how they (or Astor at least) would feel about her spending the night.

It's odd feeling this content. After everything she and I have been through, for the last few months it's been smooth sailing.

"Hey Dexter, who's Lila?" Lumen asks.

Crash.


	3. Chapter 3: Confessions

**A/N: Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated! **

"Umm... what?" I try weakly, no clue how I'm going to explain this.

"Lila. When Deb and I talked, she said she was glad things worked out this time around because she hadn't had to run one of your girlfriends out of town since Lila. I asked who that was, and Deb just got quiet and rushed back to the table." She gives me a look that says she wants answers.

Maybe I am getting better at reading women.

I've told Lumen a lot about my life, about Harry, Brian, even about what happened to Rita. Lila never came up. Maybe because that's more about Dexter the boyfriend than Dexter the serial killer. I know Lumen's fine with my hobby, but I have no idea how she'll react to my past behavior with women.

All I can think of is the way Deb looked at me when she found out about Lila. It hurt, seeing the look of disappointment on Deb's face, I don't want to think of how it would feel to have Lumen disappointed in me.

I sigh, and tell her the truth: the sponsor part, the relationship part and the killing her part. I can't even look up, terrified of what I will see.

"What was it like, being with her?" She asks, no hint of anger or hurt, just curiosity.

"Well, at first it was different, I mean different from anyone I'd been with. With Rita I was finally starting to see what it was like to really enjoy being in a relationship with someone. But with Lila, she brought out something in me. I suddenly felt like I could let myself go, like I didn't need to try and control everything. I knew I couldn't tell her everything, but I told her a little more than anyone since Harry."

"I get it Dex, it's not wrong to to want to be honest with someone, to want to be less alone. But I am hoping you don't make a habit of cheating on your girlfriends, or hooking up with girls five minutes after the breakup." She says with a smile.

"Rita was the first girl I actually cared about, and the only girl I cheated on. The way I was before her, an affair wasn't exactly a possibility anyway." I reply.

She looks confused, my heart speeds up, realizing what I just said. This is what happens when I don't filter things.

"What does that mean? Why wouldn't you be able to have an affair if you didn't even care about the women you were dating?" she asks.

I realize I'm actually more comfortable, and more experienced, talking about my killing than about my sex life. Stupid Deb and her name dropping.

"I started dating girls because Harry told me I had to, that it was part of looking normal. I was always happier being alone. I could fake things for a while, bring flowers, be the gentleman, but it never lasted. Usually, they realized I wasn't a good shoulder to cry on, whatever people usually say or do when their girlfriends get fired, or lose a loved one... I was never able to do it right. But if we ever wound up having sex the relationship ended the next day." She looks confused by this.

She sits next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Dexter, I know all girlfriends are supposed to say this, but the sex was great. I don't know what your other girlfriends thought about it, but I have a hard time believing that one night with you sent them running the other way. I mean, after everything I went through, I never even thought I would be able to be involved with someone again. At the airport, when I got frisked I could barely stop from screaming. Being touched like that made me sick. But with you it was completely different. I felt safe. And I wasn't faking anything." She blushes at that last statement.

"I... I mean... well, that's good to know." I'm stuttering like an idiot now, no clue what to say to that. Focus, back to the explanation.

"But things were different when I had sex before. I didn't understand it at the time, but I was never able to surrender control before. Each time I was with a woman, they saw the emptiness in me, saw that I was wrong inside."

"And that changed when you were with Rita?"

"Well, not at first. Since she didn't seem interested in the physical part, I assumed it would never be a problem."

"Is that why you started seeing Rita? Because you didn't think you'd have to sleep with her?" Lumen asks, her eyes narrow in suspicion.

Ah, she's seeing some parallels in my relationships. Abused woman, trust issues, just got out of a serious relationship.

Maybe I do have a type.

"Well, I started seeing Rita because Deb introduced us. I just did it because Deb asked me to. I never expected to like her, she was just another girl." I reply, she seems to want me to go on.

"When Rita started to get better, she wanted to get more physical. I was terrified, I didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to look at me the way other women did after we slept together. So I asked my shrink-"

How the hell do I keep letting this stuff slip? Lumen tries to stifle a laugh, then just stares at me like... well, like I just admitted I kill people.

"You had a shrink? You mean, someone you actually talked to about the things you do?" She says incredulously.

I smile at that. "Not exactly, I went to see him because several of his patients committed suicide under unusual circumstances. I thought he was killing them; turns out I was right. But before I was sure, he actually helped me with my issues." I smile at the memory.

She looks thoughtfully at me. "Well I guess you found a shrink who was uniquely qualified to deal with you."

We both laugh at that.

XXXXXX

Come Friday night, I find I'm actually looking forward to spending the night with Deb. It's a good thing Sonja was willing to take the kids to a movie tonight.

Looking back, Deb and I haven't really had a chance to do much lately, between my time with Lumen and her time with Quinn, it's been a busy summer.

I just finish dinner the doorbell rings.

As we finish dinner, I realize how nice it is to spend time with Deb like this. Even with everything else that's changed, things between us are still normal.

"Dex, I need to tell you something," Deb says, I notice a weird urgency in her voice.

"Sure Deb, you can tell me anything," I try.

"During the barrel girls case... I had a shot at the killers; I tracked them down and I had them dead to rights with a body in the room." She pauses, gauging my reaction.

I can barely breath. Focus. I need a reaction other than _and I really appreciate you giving us that head start_.

I try for confusion.

"What do you mean? You called it in and they were gone. It's not your fault they got away."

"No! Dex, you don't get it. I HAD THEM. They were behind a curtain, both of them with a dead body in the room. I waited an hour, I fucking told them to get away before I called it in!"

**Next chapter will be out sometime next week. **


	4. Chapter 4: Closure

**A/N: I know this chapter is a little short, but I wanted to wrap up this part of the story before moving on to the next one. Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated! **

She finishes shouting at me, she looks like she's going to cry.

I can't think of anything, what can I possibly say now? _Well, if it helps, I was the one you let go?_

She sits back down, folds into herself, won't even look at me. I sit down next to her, put my arms around her. We sit silently for what seems like a long time.

"Why did you do it?" I as quietly.

"I just couldn't bring them in. I couldn't imagine getting up in court and saying they deserved to go to jail for killing those men. I mean, how could I get up in court and say that what they did was wrong when I might have done the same thing if Rudy was still out there? Pretty fucking stupid, right?" She asks, still not looking at me.

I turn her head towards mine, look into her eyes. I try for to put all the sincerity I have into this.

"Deb, you did what you had to do. You looked at the situation and decided to do what you thought was right-"

"How can you say that! Dexter, I let two murderers go! I should be in jail for this! You should be on the phone turning me in for this!" She shouts, cutting me off.

I pause for a moment, Deb seems to think I am actually considering what she said. In reality, I'm just trying to hold back a laugh.

"Deb," I say slowly "when we were kids, I asked Harry if he ever killed anyone. When he told me he did, he said when you take a man's life, you're not just killing him. You're snuffing out all the things that he might become."

"Dad said that?" I see the same mixture of curiosity and jealousy Deb usually gets when I tell her about one of my conversations with Harry.

"So I get it, you saw the tapes, saw what those guys did and you could see them doing it to more people, right?" I say, hoping I guessed right this time.

Her eyes widen slightly. "How, I mean, yes that's exactly what happened. How did you know that?"

_Because that's what I think Harry saw when he gave me my code, all the people who died because the police couldn't always get the job done._

"It doesn't matter Deb, but I do get it. And I meant what I said before my wedding, you are the best person I know. This doesn't change that."

This time she really does cry. I feel as helpless and confused as I did all the times I saw Rita cry. I just try holding her again, I feel her arms around me, holding onto me like a life raft.

I remember what Harry told me the first time he thought he was dying. If I felt myself slipping to lean on Deb, that she would keep me connected. Looks like it works both ways.

I feel her let go, she wipes her eyes. "I can't believe I just did that." She sniffs.

"It's ok Deb, it's been a rough year for all of us."

"Yeah, but I didn't break down like that when Lundy died. Hell, I didn't break down like that when I had to kill that guy."

For a moment, I want to tell Deb the truth. About everything. Harry always told me it would be wrong to make Deb an accomplice to my crimes. But she's already made me an accomplice to her crime.

Then I think of Lumen. Now it's not just my crimes I am exposing, it's hers. Just like that, I remember it's not just about me anymore. I have a partner and a family to protect.

"Deb, you're my sister. It's a good thing that you can come to me like this. I'm glad we can be here for each other."

"Thanks Dex, I mean for everything. See you Monday?"

"Yeah, I'll bring the donuts."

I smile as she leaves.

"That was a good thing you just did, son." Harry says.

"She deserves it, she was always deserved better than she had from either of us." I say, thinking of how hard it must have been to grow up thinking Dad loved me more.

"She did, but I think you proved you deserved better too. Saving Lumen, taking care of your family. I wish I had seen that when you were a kid."

"We all did our best, we worked with what we had."

I sit for a while, thinking about Deb. I wonder if Harry was wrong to keep her in the dark about me. Maybe she really would have been able to handle it. Maybe I should have told her back when I only had to worry about myself.

Regardless, I have tomorrow to look forward to. A nice Saturday with Lumen and the kids. Maybe I can finally have some normal family bonding time.

Right, with my luck lately, I'm probably going to find Cody joining a street gang and Astor running a drug ring.

Well, at least those are problems I'm somewhat equipped to deal with.


	5. Chapter 5: Family Time

**A/N: Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated! **

Barbecue.

Strange how the simple act of roasting meat on a grill can bring people together so easily.

I consider this as I finish the burgers for Astor, Cody and Lumen. For so many years, the only thing that could bring a genuine smile to my face was the thrill of the hunt, the anticipation of that magical moment when my victim was on the table, the light draining from their eyes.

It's not the same feeling now, but seeing everyone together like this, it does make me smile.

More than that, I'm glad we get to spend the weekend together like this, since we're going to have to spend most of next weekend moving into the new house. I can see how hard it is on Astor, knowing the last house her mother lived in. It's strange to see her put on a brave face and act like she's fine, when just a few months ago she was screaming at me and telling me Rita's death was all my fault.

I turn to look at Lumen, she seems so at ease, playing with the kids. I imagine most people would find it eerie to see someone playing with children when you know that just a week ago they took part in murder and dismemberment.

To me, it's just a reminder that I am no longer alone.

Finally I look at Harrison. Seeing him sleep peacefully by me, I can't help but wonder what goes on in his mind. I haven't seen any indications of violent tendencies in him since he scratched that kid in play group. Looking at him now, I can't see anything but a perfectly normal child... but then again, anyone looking at Lumen right now wouldn't see anything wrong with her either.

I sigh. I suppose when my son is old enough to go out on his own a little more, I'll just have to follow him, see if his night time activities resemble my own as a child.

I glance around, my musings interrupted as I sense somethings wrong. I see Astor's not in my line of sight.

"Lumen, where did Astor go? The burgers are done."

"She said she wanted to take a walk. She went that way."

"I'll go get her, don't want her food to get cold."

I don't know why I'm so worried. Astor's pretty capable of handling herself, I mean if she get get from her grandparents house back to our old house, she can probably be trusted to take a walk in broad daylight.

I find her a few blocks away near the beach. Making out with a guy I think I've seen her talking to when I pick her up from school.

I calmly go over what to do next; go over, put him in a choke hold, get him somewhere quiet... Wait a minute, I can't do that. Well, at least not in the middle of a public street.

"Dexter" Astor says, face red with embarrassment.

"Um... The burgers are ready, I didn't want your food to get cold." I say meekly.

"Right, well, this is Jeff. Jeff, this is Dexter, my step dad."

"Good to meet you, sir. Astor told me a lot about you." Jeff says slowly.

Looking at him, he seems normal. His clothes look fairly new, no gang symbols, no tatoos, doesn't look like a drug user.

So why am I still making a mental list of everything I would need to dispose of his body?

Apparently, the kids perceptive enough to have some idea of what I am currently thinking.

"Well, um, I have to get home now. It was good to meet you, sir. Astor, I guess I'll see you at school." He leaves hastily.

The rest of the day goes uneventfully. Astor does her best to pretend nothing happened, and I have no idea how to bring it up to her. I always assumed when it came to boys, Astor would just talk to Rita.

I wonder if Lumen could help me with this. At least, she knows what it was like to be a teenage girl.

XXXX

With dinner over, and the kids happily watching their favorite tv show, I decide to go drive Lumen home.

"I'm worried about Astor," I tell Lumen as I start the car.

"I know, she's really not taking it well that you need to sell the house. Dexter, I was thinking, maybe I should buy it instead? I mean I could rent it out, and I have more than enough money to wait while we find a tenant."

"Wow, that would be great, if you're sure you can do it. But that's not what I meant. When I went to find her, I saw her making out with a guy from her school."

"Well, what did you tell her?"

I remain silent. Lumen gives me a stern look.

"Dexter, you need to talk to her about this."

"I know, but what the hell am I supposed to say? I mean, things have been going so well lately, I don't want her to go back to hating me."

Lumen puts her hand on my shoulder. "Dexter, she never hated you. She was angry about her mothers death, and she was scared you wouldn't be there for her and Cody now that Rita was gone. She won't hate you for being involved in her life."

"I don't even know where to start, I have no idea what to tell her."

Lumen starts to say something, then stops. I can tell she's remembering the last time we discussed my childhood, how I killed animals at Astor's age.

"Look Dexter, even if you didn't have a normal childhood, didn't your father ever have the talk with your sister? Maybe you could try that?"

I can't remember Harry ever having that kind of talk with Deb. I do remember walking on the beach once, and finding Deb in a similar state to to the one I found Astor in with her boyfriend. Deb was as startled as Astor was, we never really talked about it.

"Maybe I should ask Deb."

"Sorry Dexter, I would try talking to Astor about it, but we're not that close yet. I think you'll have to handle this one."

We kiss goodbye as I drop her off for the night.

I get home and call my realtor, he says he'll send the papers over to Lumen on Monday. Then I call Deb and we agree to meet tomorrow for coffee.

Going to sleep, I realize I just committed to discussing the sex life of my sister and my daughter. Maybe next weekend I can arrange to have someone torture me with needles.

XXXX

Sitting with Deb, she looks as nervous as I feel.

"Look, Dexter, if this is about the... stuff I told you last time we talked. Well, if you can't deal with it, I understand. I get that it's a lot to ask of someone to keep a secret like this."

She thinks this is about her letting two killers go. If only it were that simple.

"Deb, your secrets safe with me. Actually, I was thinking of that time when we were in high school, that summer when I saw you on the beach with that guy?" I say, hoping the details are enough.

Her face goes from nervous to confused.

"OK, that was random. Yes I remember, but don't you think it's a little late to be giving me the big brother speech about not getting a bad reputation?" She says with a smile she gets when she knows she's making me uncomfortable.

"I was wondering if I did the right thing, not telling anyone about it."

"It meant a lot to me to know I could trust you. I was glad you didn't go running to dad or anyone."

"Well, that helps, because I found Astor in a similar situation yesterday-"

"What! I hope you put the punks head through a wall!" Deb interrupts.

"No! I just took her back home, you think I would do that to a kid?"

I mean, without my knife or a way of disposing of the body.

"Dexter, you need to talk to your daughter about this." Deb says angrily.

"What happened to telling me I was right not to talk about it?" I say confused.

Deb sighs, looking at me like I am an idiot.

"Dexter, you're my _brother_, I was glad to know I could trust you. You are Astor's _father_, it's not the same thing."

"So, if Harry had been the one to see you, what should he have said?"

"I don't know! I remember coming home thinking you had told him. That I'd get some big lecture about how disappointed he was that his daughter was a big slut!"

I frown. "Dad never thought that."

"Well, how would I know. It's not like he ever really talked to me about guys, or dating or anything. You could at least start by asking to meet her boyfriend."

"Before or after I put his head through a wall?" I smile.

She laughs.

"Depends on what you think of him."

We spend the finish up our coffee discussing case work, Deb offers to help us move into the new house next weekend.

I arrive home with a slightly better idea of what to say to Astor. Cody's by the pool playing with some of the neighbors kids, so I have a chance now. I sit down on the couch next to her.

"Astor, we need to talk about yesterday. Who is this guy, and how long have you been seeing him?"

She sighs, not looking at me. "His name is Jeff, he's been really nice to me since I got back to school, and we haven't really been out yet. We never even kissed before yesterday, he just did that when I ran into him, I didn't plan for you to meet him like that."

"Well, now I do need to meet him, I want you to bring him over for dinner this week."

Her face brightens at that. "So you're saying I can start seeing him?"

As long as he knows I can kill a man twenty different ways with just my hands, I think.

"How about I get to know him a little better, and then we go from there?"

"Thanks Dexter, I think he only kissed me because he felt sorry for me anyway." She says, looking away again.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I ran into him, I told him how hard it would be to say goodbye to our house, and when the he told me it would be okay, I just felt worse. Next thing I knew we were kissing."

Well, at least I have one piece of news that will make her feel better.

"About that, Lumen offered to buy the place from me. She might be able to rent it out, but it even then it won't be for a wh-"

Before I can finish, Astor hugs me. She keeps thanking me for this. I smile, nice to be able to do something right.

She tells me a little more about Jeff. Apparently, he's in several of her classes, and he's lives with his uncle for the past two years. Ever since his father was acquitted of killing his mother.

As Astor goes down to the pool, I think about our discussion. I was planning to look into Jeff this week, maybe I should look into his father as well.

See if justice was done at his trial, or if Lumen and I should make sure it gets done now?


	6. Chapter 6: The Planning

**A/N: Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated!**

**Sorry for the lateness of the update, the primary culprit was a computer virus. Updates from now on should arrive every 7-10 days. In other news, I want to say thanks to ReadingRed for her help as my new Beta!**

Chapter 6: The Planning

They say that girls often seek out men that remind them of their fathers. I remember Deb telling me once that she had to be with a guy who fit the idealized version she had of Harry.

By that logic, Astor should be dating an abusive drug addict like Paul. I start to wonder if that was part of the reason my initial reaction to seeing her kissing Jeff was to ask myself how soon I would be able to kill him.

After abusing my privileges by running an illegal, or at least unethical, background check on Jeff, it is surprising to see he is nothing like Paul, if anything he reminds me of... well, me. 

Which probably should make me even more concerned.

Jeff Micheals appeared on social services radar two years ago, after a teacher reported severe bruises on his body. His mother filed for divorce, only to disappear before the proceedings could commence. The district attorney went after Eric Micheals, the husband, on murder charges due to blood found in his car, but without a body, they couldn't convict. The bruises and the arrest were enough for social services to pull Jeff out of the home and place him with his uncle. Other than that, no disciplinary problems or indications of violent behavior from Jeff were in the file.

Well, I guess I have to give this kid the benefit of the doubt and let Astor bring him to dinner.

As for his father, he works as a janitor, has been cited for three DUI's, but there's not much on him other than that.

XXXXXXX

Lumen and I walk into Eric's favorite bar thirty minutes after we see him go in. This is going to be tricky, and I won't get another chance at pumping him for information.

Eric's clearly been drinking heavily; his speech is slurred as he demands another drink from the waitress.

We sit at the bar on the other end from him, chatting calmly for a few minutes. Then after she gives me the cue, we start a scripted fight about me forgetting her non-existent sister's birthday.

As our voices slowly get louder, she abruptly slaps me across the face and storms out.

"BITCH!" I shout loud enough for everyone to hear, trying all the while not to acknowledge the staring faces of the other patrons.

I walk over to the seat next to Eric and mutter about women as I order another beer.

"You said it, gets so a man can't even keep his own family in line anymore," Eric says.

"Yeah, they can slap you in public, but if you so much as touch them, they can throw you in jail," I say.

He smiles at that. "Yeah, it just ain't right."

"Sometimes I wish the earth could just open up and swallow them when they get like that."

"Just as long as you can push them into the hole they get swallowed by," he laughs.

"Yeah, but what can you do?" I ask, hoping he's drunk enough to take the bait.

"Eh, you could always take them out to the swamps, go for a walk and hope the alligators get hungry," he says.

I frown. If he disposed of his wife that way, any evidence would be long gone.

"Of course, that's only in Miami, back in New York, you just had to hope they'd fall down a flight of stairs." This time he does laugh, in a rather nostalgic way.

I smile then, maybe giving too much of myself away, since he abruptly pays his bill and leaves.

I wait a few more minutes, pay for my drinks and go back to the car.

"So, did he give anything up?" Lumen asks excitedly as I step in.

I tell her about our conversation. She frowns, upset by the lack of good information.

"I guess we won't find a body then. Does the first wife give us enough, can we kill him?"

"I'll check on the story about his first wife. If it checks out, I'd say he fits the code."

XXXX

We go back to Lumen's place for some quick research, turns out Eric Micheals was telling the truth about his first wife's "accident", police suspected him, but once again the evidence wasn't enough.

After that, it's all just a matter of planning. I start making lists of supplies while Lumen looks into places to set up the kill room.

"Dexter, it says Micheals works as a janitor for the Royal Palace theater downtown," Lumen says excitedly.

"So, how does that help us?"

"My company is taking everyone there next weekend for the opening night of the Mikado. I was going to ask if you wanted to be my plus one?" She says, excitedly.

I frown, watching a play with a bunch of her obscenely wealthy colleagues isn't exactly my idea of a fun night.

She seems to pick up on my thoughts, as just a moment later she rolls her eyes and laughs.

"I get that it's not really your thing, Dexter. But if we excuse ourselves at the intermission, and take care of Micheals in the basement, the loud music should make for a good distraction."

I smile, assuming Micheals is working that night, that could work.

We both busy ourselves reviewing plans of the theater building, I call in and convince the manager to confirm that Micheals will be on the job that night. I enjoy planning the kill with Lumen, the excitement was never this intense alone.

It seems Lumen feels the same way. As we finish the plan, she puts her hand on my leg, smiling suggestively.

I smile, running my hand across her back.

We both move with the same energy we had when we had sex over a recent kill. Tearing off each other clothes, her legs wrap around me, my hands holding her bottom for support as I move us against the nearest wall.

We call out each others name as we climax together.

After, I think of the week ahead, the dinner with Astor's boyfriend during the week, and the kill with Lumen on the weekend. Family life at its best.

"It might be nice to introduce you to some of my co-workers, they do ask about you," she says quietly.

"What do you tell them," I say playfully.

"Dexter, I work in high pressure finance, most of the guys I work with talk about their sex lives non-stop, when I started, I got the impression they had a bet going about who could get me into bed first. I figured telling them I have a boyfriend who works in the police force would get them to realize I am not up for grabs."

My smile fades. "Any of them in particular giving you a hard time."

She laughs.

"No, nothing like that. No need to get the knives out, but it is nice to see you act like a normal boyfriend every now and then."

"Hey, I take you out, we spend time working on projects together, I even complain when you try to make me go to plays with you."

We both laugh at that.

"I thought you would like the Mikado, I figured at least some of it would appeal to you."

She pulls out her smart phone, and then I start hearing a song about people eagerly awaiting "The Lord High Executioner".

I laugh.

In another age, that might have made a good career choice for me.


	7. Chapter 7: Dinner and a Show

**A/N: Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated!**

**Again, thanks to ReadingRed for her help as my new Beta!**

**Between work and continuing computer issues, things were a little delayed. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and/or added me to your alerts and favorites. Now, on with the show!**

Chapter 7: Dinner and A Show

It actually makes me feel good to have the kids together for dinner.

At first, when Astor and Cody agreed to live with me, I thought family dinners would be a good way to give them some of the normalcy they lost when Rita died. Now I see it gives me the same thing. It gives us all a sense of stability, especially now that we moved into a new house.

That said, having Astor's new boyfriend join us tonight isn't exactly normal, for any of us.

As we sit down for dinner, I ask him the same questions I always got in high school when a girl brought me home for dinner; his hobbies, how long he's known Astor, his favorite classes. He gives me a rundown of his life, which I pretend to be surprised by.

No sense in letting him know I did a background check.

As things go on, I have to admit he seems like a decent kid. Given his history, I look for some sign that he's trouble, the indications of violence and antisocial behavior I can usually spot with ease.

I don't see any of that. What I see is a nice kid who seems to make Astor happy, and after everything she's been through, she deserves it.

As we finish dinner, Jeff offers to help me clean the kitchen while Astor and Cody deal with the table.

"Mr. Morgan, I just want you to now, I really like Astor, and I'm sorry we got off to a bad start," he blushes.

"It's ok, I just don't like to think of Astor... like that. But you seem to make her happy, and that's what matters to me most."

"That's important to me too Mr. Morgan, thanks for giving me a chance."

He pauses for a moment, showing a renewed sense of worry. I look down and realize I have been cleaning the same butcher knife a lot longer than necessary. I stop and put it down, reaching for a dirty plate. As badly as I want to pick the knife up, let some of darkness out and say things that will make him run out of my house, I meant what I said. I want Astor to be happy.

We finish up and Jeff says goodbye to Astor, apparently my obsessive knife cleaning did have an effect on the kid, as he pulls away when she tries to kiss him goodbye.

I smile at that.

Astor eyes me warily after Jeff leaves, waiting for me to give her some sign as to what I'm thinking.

"Well, he seems like a nice guy," I say, trying to start a conversation.

"So, does that mean I can go out with him this Friday, and you won't try to scare him away?" She asks simply.

"Yes, you can go out with him. As for the scaring part, I can't help it if us forensics guys are all big and scary." I say, giving my most non-threatening look.

She start to laugh, then stops herself.

"I'm serious; the way he looked when he left..., I don't want him to think I'm some kind of freak with a crazy dad."

I start to defend myself. Then I realize, what she said, that she still thinks of me as her dad. I raise my hands in surrender.

"Ok, I promise to work on that next time he comes over."

Then I reach into my pocket, take out my wallet and perform the oldest parental peace offering in the book.

"Let me make it up to you, here's some money, how about you get those shoes you said you wanted."

She smiles, takes the money and then runs into the other room to call her friends.

Now that Astor, has a date, Cody's going to a friends house, and Sonja is available to take care of Harrison, Lumen and I can enjoy our date night in peace.

XXXXXX

Friday comes quickly for me. Work goes by quietly and with Lumen spending most of her time in the office working on some big deal, I'm left to spend most of my time with the kids.

Work is normal, a stabbing here, a double homicide there, business as usual. The only surprise I get is that Deb seems to be spending a little less time with Quinn. I make a note to check in on that soon.

I consider this as one of Lumen's insanely boring colleagues tries to explain to me the different types of tax exemptions for bonds. I realize this is the way most people feel when I try to explain forensics to them. I nod along for a few more minutes before the show starts. Then quickly leave to find Lumen and take our seats for the first half.

As we watch the play, I imagine what life would have been like in an age when someone with my… talent … was considered an asset to society rather than a threat. I see myself as an executioner for some powerful King, taking my axe to any murderer the courts sent to me. A simple life to be sure, but strangely tempting at the same time.

At intermission, we slip out, Lumen makes some excuse about a family emergency. As soon as we get away from the group, we make a turn and head for the basement. I go ahead of Lumen and spot Micheals cleaning the hall outside the dressing rooms. I stay hidden as the actors make their way back on stage, waiting for everyone else to clear out.

As the last people leave I count to twenty, casually make my way to Micheals, and as I step behind him, I slip my needle into his neck and grab him as he passes out. Lumen and I drag him to the mostly empty storage room at the end of the hall and set up the kill room.

Lumen handles the walls while I set up the table and wrap Micheals up in cellophane.

He wakes up just as I finish putting the pictures of his victims on the wall.

It's all so familiar, the confusion, panicked attempts to move, followed by the realization that he can't. He glances at the pictures on the wall, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Never expected to see them again, did you Eric? I imagine they looked a little like you do now when you killed them," I smile a smile so different than the one I gave Aster a couple days before. Just like that one though, this smile tells its recipient exactly what I want it to. It lets him know he's about to spend some quality time with me and my knife.

"Huh- Wait, you're that guy from the bar, and you're that bitch who slapped-" he stops as I stuff cloth into his mouth. I want to kill him right then, just like I killed the car dealer when he insulted Rita.

I reach for the knife, only to see it in Lumen's hand.

She looks even angrier than I am.

"That's what women are to you, right? Just punching bags? Something disposable to throw away when you're done."

She cuts him across the face with the knife, his eyes widen in horror and pain as he tries to speak. She collects the blood slide, and walks over to me. I'm surprised to see her put the knife down.

I want to ask her if she's sure, if she wants to do this. But we have had this conversation before, and I know she wouldn't put the knife down if she didn't want me to do it.

I pick it up, walk over to Micheals. I consider taking the gag out, but I can see from the hysterical look in his eyes that we are past the point of conversation. The knife cuts through his sternum, his eyes go blank.

I look over to Lumen. She smiles at me.

I smile back.

Our cleanup routine is as seamless as our preparation. I handle the body, she deals with the rest of the room. We pack up the pieces and head out the emergency exit after I cut the alarm. No sense in taking the trash out through the front.

On the boat ride home, Lumen asks how the dinner with Jeff went. She gives me a stern look when I mention the knife part. She smiles a little when I tell her about the bribery part.

"Dexter, you should work on dealing with Jeff, Astor won't always be that easy to bribe," she says playfully.

"Yeah, I think if I work on it now, it will be out of my system by the time she gets her license and thinks I should buy her a car when I act like this. How did your parents handle you dating?"

"Dad was just happy I mostly dated guys whose parents went to his country club. Owen was the son of one of his best friends. I think he was happier than I was when he proposed," she looks away, lost in memory.

"Do you ever regret... things?" I realize how stupid it sounds before I finish. Does she regret being kidnapped and tortured? Becoming a serial killer?

She kisses me, smiles at my awkwardness.

"Dexter, you're sweet. I do regret what those men did to me, but I never regretted what we did to them. I never regretted staying with you when Owen came for me. And I don't regret being with you now, regardless of what anyone else would think."

I smile, glad that public opinion is not a big deal for either of us.

As I head home, I realize date night has never been so much fun for me. Now all I have to do is swing by the movie theater to make sure Astor's date night went well, and that Jeff is still the gentlemen he appeared to be at my home. Otherwise, Jeff may be joining his father on my next date night with Lumen.

Though if I do kill Astor's boyfriend, I may end up needing to buy her that car after all.


	8. Chapter 8: Moving Forward

**A/N: Standard disclaimer, this is done for entertainment, not profit, I don't own the rights to anything. Reviews (anonymous or not) are always appreciated!**

**Again, thanks to my beta ReadingRed. Next chapter should be up in the next week or so, between my computer finally dying, the 4th of July and work, I'm a little behind. **

Chapter 8: Moving Forward

I pull over a block away from the movie theater, just in time to see Astor and Jeff leaving along with the rest of the patrons.

They both seem happy, I notice they are holding hands. He leans in and kisses her, and much as I dislike watching this, I am glad to see her so happy. A few minutes later, they turn to leave.

"You have come a long way. I remember a time when you couldn't even understand what it was like to want to be with someone," Harry says.

"I just want her to have someone she can be happy with," I reply.

"That's what I mean, son. Someone to be happy with is all most people want. I always hoped you could find someone to be happy with, even if I never believed you could find someone to share your life with."

"Now I actually have both." I smile, thinking of Lumen.

I drive home, wondering if normal fathers react this way to their children dating.

XXXXX

I sit at home with Harrison in my arms.

With Cody in his room playing some video game, and Astor on her way home from her date, I just sit on the couch in our new living room and watch my son. Other than the scratching incident, I have yet to see anything to indicate he's like me.

I wonder if this is what it was like for Harry when I was little.

Before he found the bones.

Did he stay with me and look for signs of what I might become? Did the guilt of knowing what he had done eat at him the way it eats at me?

I try to imagine finding bones behind our yard, taking Harrison on my boat one day and trying to explain to him why he would always feel a hunger that was only satisfied when he could make someone's blood flow.

I remember how excited I was when Harry taught me how to get away with murder, I remember how angry he was _You think I want to teach you these things Dexter?_

I actually feel sick imagining myself teaching Harrison how to do what I do. I imagine Astor and Cody thinking I spend most of my time with Harrison because I love him more. The way Deb always felt about my relationship with our father.

Then Harrison looks at me and smiles. Just a normal, little kid smile.

I let myself hope that the therapist was right, that he really is young enough to forget what he went through, not just block it out the way I did. For now, we just sit together.

Astor opens the door, she looks surprised to see me.

"Hey Dexter, I thought you'd still be at the play."

"Lumen wasn't feeling well, we left early."

"I'm not late, I still have five minutes before you said I had to be home." She says quickly.

"I was just going to ask how your date went?" I say innocently.

She deflates a little, "It was fun." I see her smile a little, then turn to leave.

I let her go. This is new to me, walking the line between showing an interest and prying. For now, I know nothing bad happened, and she knows I care. For now, that is enough for both of us.

XXXXX

Work goes normally, I bring donuts, do my work, try my best to ignore Vince when he tells me about current etiquette at BDSM clubs. I notice Deb and Quinn coming into the office together.. late.

I suppose it makes sense, with no major cases, it's not like they need to be here early or anything. And it's not like when she started dating Lundy, everyone knows she's with Quinn. So it makes sense that they spend the night together most of the time now.

I try to focus on my work today. With everything that's been happening in my life, it is nice to just calmly go about the business of looking at images of bloody crime scenes, testing blood samples and doing paperwork. It reminds me that, despite all the changes in my life, some things are the same.

"Hey Dex, you free for lunch today?" Deb asks.

"Sure, is Quinn out on a case or something?" I ask, usually they have lunch together these days.

"No, I just wanted to spend some tie with you," she says with a smile that tells me she wants something.

I just smile back, get up from my desk and walk out with her.

Given that the last time Deb wanted to tell me something over a meal, she confessed to a fairly serious crime, I suppose I should be nervous. But, she seems happy, so I think this time it won't be such a big deal. I just hope she doesn't plan to ask Lumen and I out on another double date.

"So, Dex, you notice Quinn and I have been spending a lot more time together lately..." she trails off.

"Yeah..." I say, getting ready to pretend to be happy about sitting through another meal with Quinn.

"We decided to move in together," she blurts out.

"Congratulations" I say with, what I hope does not look like a forced smile.

She rolls her eyes. I guess not.

"Seriously Dexter, we've been dating for months, we spend practically every night together anyway. This is a big step for me, actually letting things get serious with someone."

She has a point, between almost marrying the Ice Truck Killer and watching Lundy die, I guess it is a big deal. The same way it was for me to let Lumen into my life.

I give her a real smile. "You're right Deb, how about I help you move this weekend?"

She smiles at that.

"Thanks Dex, you're the best."

I actually feel better after that, it makes me wonder if the kids might be ready for me to move in with Lumen. It would be nice for us to be able to spend the night together again. I could see it now, weekends having breakfast with the kids, long talks about which side of the closet to hide the killing tools.

Domestic paradise.


	9. Chapter 9: Epilogue

**A/N: Apologies for the late chapter, between work issues, my computer dying and other things I just haven't had a chance. It was a really pleasure writing this, and I hope you all enjoy the epilogue.**

_6 Months Later..._

I get home at my usual time, smell dinner, take in the clutter that only three kids can produce, hear the inevitable din that usually greets me on my entry. Astor complains about not being able to find her favorite jeans for her date with Jeff, Cody makes noise from whatever video game he's playing on his laptop and Harrison sits hypnotized by some cartoon about a sponge with big eyes and rectangular shorts.

Once upon a time, this image made me want to run the other way, now it just makes me smile. Maybe it's the result of knowing how lonely the alternative can be. Maybe I am finally starting to grow up. Or maybe it's the beautiful woman who comes in as I stand there, smiles at me and announces dinner's ready.

The kids drop whatever they are doing and head for the dining room, Lumen waits patiently until all the kids are out of earshot before leaning in to kiss me.

"How was work today?" She asks with a smile.

"Fine, spent most of the day in court. A murderer walked free on a technicality, brought the case file home with me. You?" I say with a very different kind of smile.

"Pretty slow actually, I left a little early, stopped by the hardware store on the way home." She says, giving me a very different kind of smile in return.

We start to go towards the dining room, knowing we'll have a lot more to talk about once the kids are asleep.

"Oh, Deb called while you were out, she says she and Quinn can watch the kids next time we want a night out. I get the feeling Deb's almost as happy as you are they decided to stay with us permanently."

I nod.

We walk to the kitchen together, Lumen sits down as I go to the kitchen to get what she made for us.

Another routine we have down now.

As we eat, I look around the table. Of all of us, Lumen has adjusted the best to all of this. For someone who ran from the family life once, she has really taken to things here. Astor actually asks her for advice about boys, friends, ... female issues that make me as uncomfortable as normal people get about dismembered bodies. It makes me glad that Astor has someone who can understand what she's going through, in a way I never could even if I was normal.

Astor reminds me she has to leave in a right after dinner for her date with Jeff. I remind her to be home by ten, she rolls her eyes; but I can see a hint of a smile. I have to admit he has been a good influence on her. I remember how happy he was when the cops told him his father had "mysteriously disappeared", always nice to see my hobbies have a positive effect in the world.

These days, Cody is all about baseball and video games. Other than having to sit through all of his games and pretend to enjoy watching kids hit a ball with a stick, I couldn't be happier. He's the normal kid I always wished I could be.

Then I turn to Harrison. He smiles at me, nothing predatory or cold, just a little kid smile. He hasn't scratched anyone in play group since that one incident. I was actually stating to feel relieved, until he got into Astor's room last month and pulled the head off a doll she left out.

Lumen said it was just a little kid thing, that he ad no idea what he was doing. As scared as I am, I know all I can do is wait and see. I remember the conversation Lumen and I had that night.

"_Dexter, calm down, he's a little kid. He had no idea what he was doing."_

"_What if it is a sign? What happens if next time it's the neighbors pet? Or we get a call from a teacher that he stabbed a classmate? How are we supposed to leave him alone then; or let him around the other kids?" I say, almost hysterical._

_Lumen put her hand on my shoulder. "Even if it is as bad as you think, we can handle this together. Harry did it with you, we can teach him how to manage it, give him the Code. Harry taught you to hide it from his wife and your sister, if we work together, we can teach him to hide it from Astor and Cody."_

_I sit down on the bed, fold into myself. She sits down beside me._

"_You don't understand," I whisper._

"_Understand what?"_

"_Harry hated teaching me how to kill, but he loved me enough to do it anyway. He could be the person I needed because he ran on love. I don't have that in me. The idea of teaching my son how to live like I do... I don't want that for him."_

"_Dexter, every father wants more for his son then he had. And you have more love in you than Harry ever saw. All the things you did for me, everything you taught me. As crazy as it sounds, that's love; doing things you ate doing because you know it's the only way to help someone."_

_We don't talk anymore, I lie down, she holds me through the night..._

Sitting here, I see she was right. As much as I hate the idea, I would do anything for my son, even teach him how to be like me.

I look around at my perfectly imperfect house, and my perfectly imperfect life, I have no idea how our story will end.

But I look forward to finding out.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed and/or added me to their lists.**


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